“He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice.”
This is what Steven Conroy should have done at Celtic Park when he wrongly sent off Chris Innes of St Mirren before he had to bring him back on. No, it is Santa that is doing the checking and the good, the bad and the Davie Dodd’s of the Scottish game are all looking forward to the big day.
Due to some top notch contacts and some favours that we don’t want to explain too much about, WeKnowSFA has managed to get a hold of some of Christmas lists Scotland’s football stars sent to Santa.
The following, in no particular order, are what we managed to get hold of:
Dick Campbell
Singstar Take That for the Wii (Are The People). At least this way I’ll be able to sing they Jason Orange songs without ending up in trouble
Lee Naylor
Tattoos. That’s the only thing Danny Fox has got that I don’t have but I cant get near the first team anymore.
Scott McDonald
Can I get a World Cup place Santa? Nah, I know you can’t promise that, so I had better get my head down and work hard. That’s why its just the three selection boxes, two Thorntons gift boxes and some Turkish delights for me. I don’t really like them but it pisses off that big Greek Tragedy alongside me.
And if you turn up and there’s no mince pies left, the wife must have ate them. Honest (burp)
Barry Ferguson
I’ll be having a years supply of tattie scones and irnbru.
You know what its like big chap, the missus couldnae settle the last time doon here and the old bridges have been burned at Ibrox so I’d better stick it oot this time. Its fine for me, Ive got that big ginger heided gonk as a boss, it doesnae get mair tartan than that but some hame comforts would keep the missus sweet. Gies that maw broon cookbook anaw
Darryl Broadfoot.
Some tips from Stephen Jardine please. I’d love to be able to do ‘The Hour’ with Michelle McManus.
Aiden McGeady
You know can what do for me? Boot that Gary Caldwell in the baws. He was my Secret Santa and he thought it would be funny to get me the Little Boots album ‘Hands’. Aye, a Thierry Henry joke, I get it ya big heided p*ick, your Twitter is pish as well. Apart from that, a VIP pass to Karbon and Middlesbrough to get relegated will do for Aidenhio.
Walter Smith
Can the person who “stole” Madjid’s passport steal mine? I’ve had enough of Europe for one lifetime.
Martin Bain.
We at Rangers appreciate the gifts Santa but if you don’t mind, can we just have the money? In fact, if you can make the cheque out to “Lloyds TSB”, that would be great.
Dave King.
Err..if Madjid or Walter are “losing” their passports, could I have theirs? I can’t err….seem to find mine at the moment.
Tony Mowbray
Well Santa, thanks for getting me my wish from last year. However, when I asked for a Fortune, it wasn’t quite what I meant but well, I should have been clearer. I’ve realised that a lot of people are struggling with my instructions. Maybe because I let Peter Grant talk for me at times!
Tell you something though, even Donald Findlay would struggle to make something out of my defence, so that is my main wish this year. Therefore, if you can kidnap Peter Lawell and set the ransom at a few defenders, that would be great. PS. If you’re kidnapping Lawell, could you take McManus as well?
Jimmy Calderwood
I could easily take over from Walter at Ibrox. Look at me, I’m well used to getting tanned in Europe. So, for a change, can you take a gift from me? I’ll leave my CV on the table, if you can drop it off at Ibrox or Murray Park, I’d really appreciate it. Jimmy Nicholl sends his love x
Gordon Smith
I really need to find the right man for the national team boss job. I wanted Burley because he said he had a few good teachers…turns out he had a good few Bells, Whyte & McKays, Famous Grouse and Macallans as well. He was no Scottish Leader, that’s for sure.
Mind you, he really recommends some bloke called Glen Morangie, so I’ll maybe offer him an interview.
And apart from that, just the usual, you know what I mean….
Alan McGregor
Golf clubs. Well, if Tiger can get through all that bo-ragging, imagine what I’d be doing? And yes, I do realise I have made Frank McAvennie jokes redundant now, that’s life in a recession.
Jim Gannon.
A meeting with some girl called Debbie. I’ve heard she’s did Dallas and I might need a hand putting that jumped up little idiot in his place.
WeKnowSFA. Forget Kenny, Lee or Willie, could we please have Sienna Miller? We have been a very good website this year. Failing that, could you send our thanks to everyone that has taken the time to check out the site.
We’re just kicking off and we are nowhere near perfect but we hope to get bigger and better in 2010.
We hope everyone will keep coming back…and they’ll tell all their friends…and they tell all their friends.
Sort of like a pyramid scheme but with no money…so no one loses out!
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